Head to a Different Kind of Bar This Valentine's Day

This one is for the gentlemen, so feel free to print out and place in briefcase/on counter/or that "other" place that guys read (why)?!!

Nothing says "I love you" like changing urinated sheets at 2 a.m.; making a meal and having all diners under 7 literally spit food back at you; or reassuring your other half that yes, you DO resemble-insert whichever celebrity you think you remotely look like here______.

(Which, by the way, you don't or you would be a stunt double by now.)

In case you haven't gotten the memo (again, why) Valentine's Day is around the corner and although every XX chromosome will tell you she "doesn't really need anything"- it's a lie; you heard it here first.

If you show up empty-handed, you will be looking at a week ahead of Hamburger Helper, uncomfortable silences and you might as well put an extra blanket on your side of the bed as it will be coldddddd there for some time.

Now that I have your attention, there is still hope for you yet. Want to score the big points? Run, don't walk, to The Flower Bar in Larchmont and speak to Nancy for their "Random Bouquet," where a lovely little hand-tied seasonal bouquet will show up on your doorstep once a month/week, whichever you deem appropriate based on your "situation" (Refer back to Paragraph 1.).

See my pics of the "Random Bouquet" which I bought for myself (Independent woman or all in the sake of research? You decide.). The only parameters I gave her were that I hated carnations and that I liked a short bouquet so I could see my kids across the table.

I have to say, whether you get this for yourself or someone else does, it's a lovely little pick-me-up to have fresh flowers come to your house on more than just Valentine's Day. It really kills the whole Seasonal Affective Disorder nicely.

Need the number? 914-834-4900; tell them Playgrounds, Pinot and Kale sent you.